The Christmas letter

So today I was reading one of my cousins blogs and she had put a post up of one of her most favorite Christmas's and it made me start to think and reflect about all my Christmas pasts. I grew up in a home where Christmas was absolutely magical my parents loved Christmas, they were just like kids enjoying every aspect of the holiday. I am sure this is why most of my siblings and I love Christmas so much. I have so many happy Christmas memories but I have one that stands out more than the rest it was one of those defining moments in my life that impacted me forever.

My parents were having a hard time financially. Even though they both worked and we had a part time cleaning job my Dad picked up another part time job working telemarketing. My mom called me and my older two brothers to talk to us and tell us that there was no way they would be able to buy Christmas this year. She said that they would be able to give us each $20.00 but that was about it. I remember having this incredible sad hollow feeling but not for myself for my little sister she was still little, how would she understand. Before I could think both my brothers were telling my Mom not to worry about all of us and to use the money to buy Colle Christmas. I was so excited that they were thinking the same way I was. My Mom was trying not to cry I remember thinking her tears were because she was so proud of the decision we made. But being a Mother I now know that was only a tinny part she really was fighting with her pain that she was not able to provide a normal Christmas. What she did not see at the time was that she was teaching us one of the most powerful lessons we would have.

Christmas was approaching and I think we all knew we would be receiving two letters one from our Dad and one from our Mom. I remember watching my Mom try and prepare each letter for us she was struggling with writing each one. not because of what to say I think it was just so heart breaking for her. I saw her cry a couple of times and try to tell her it would be alright they were just presents and we would survive.

Christmas day arrived and of course we still woke up early. I was excited for my little sister to see what she got. We went down stairs Colle was elated she got the doll she wanted it was fun to watch her. We each received our letters and to our surprise there was also $5.00. I did not read my letters right off I watched my Mom I had never seen her like this before she seemed ashamed. she was trying her hardest to smile and laugh but you could see it in her eyes. When I finally read my letter I learned stuff that I had never been told my Dad told me about the day I was born and how he felt. My mom's letter brought a tear to my eye.

I learned a couple of things that day first I learned what true sacrifice was I have tried since that day to help those in need in any way I can I am sure I could always do better at this but I try. This is something that I hope to teach my children I am not sure if they grasp how deep I feel about this but I do see that they are becoming very thoughtful kids who usually see the needs of others. The second thing I learned was I felt a love I can't explain an eternal joy, a joy I hope to feel often that pure love that comes deep from the heart.

I am thankful for the lesson I learned that Christmas and for the true love of Christmas my parents past on to me. I hope everyone has an opportunity to sit back and reflect on past memories like I have and get excited for the new ones to come.

Happy New Year!!!